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Dear Dr Neder,

A girl that I am in Law School with, and who was also my best friend in school recently broke my heart.

Essentially, she kissed me one evening when we were out with friends and we began dating for a couple of weeks. She would call and email me all the time. One evening we were out together and she asked me what I thought of our relationship. I told her that I didn’t realize how much she meant to me until now that we were involved romantically and that I wanted us to be together as a couple and she agreed. Two days later she called me and said she couldn’t do it and she was very sorry.

I sent her a handwritten note and roses telling asking her to give us a try again, but she said no.

We haven’t spoken since and school starts again in a month. What can I do to rectify the situation? Should I even bother?


Personally, I wouldn’t bother. What in the hell is she doing anyway? Was she just lonely and you were convenient or something? She doesn’t sound like much of a girlfriend OR a friend to me! Why would she use you and manipulate your feelings like this?

What’s even worse about this is that she doesn’t seem to even think you deserve a detailed explanation of her actions. To say that’s disrespectful is an understatement! This woman obviously doesn’t care about the relationship or you, and I’ll bet she was just using you so that she could tell the person that she was really interested in that she had a boyfriend.

Let’s examine why women do this:

Men are much more likely to completely dump a girlfriend before setting out to find another. They don’t often go from one girlfriend right to the next. Women however do this regularly. Think of it like a monkey swinging from vine to vine, rather than dropping to the ground, climbing a tree and swinging over to the next one.

I tell guys all the time that it’s easier to steal someone else’s girlfriend than to keep one, and this is exactly why that’s true. Whenever a woman tells you she has a boyfriend, don’t think you’re completely out of opportunities with her. She’s telling you that if you can sell her on the idea, she’d break up with the other guy for you! It’s the ones that don’t tell you that they have boyfriends you have to worry about!

If I were you, I’d kick this using bitch to the curb and move on. She’s not worth your time or even one second of sadness.

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